Thursday, January 28, 2010

Aptitude and Grace

I was sitting in a restaurant having breakfast this morning when I overheard a conversation that seems to be representative of society’s attitude toward marriage, sex and women today. The conversation was between an older married man and a young lady. It went something like this: 

Man: “My wife gets very upset with me just because I like to watch a little sex on videos. I mean, I love to look at women’s bodies and I don’t try to hide this from her. 

Young lady: Why does she get so upset? Doesn’t she trust you?

Man: No, but it’s not like I’m going to go around and sleep with every woman I see. I just like to watch sex on my computer and on videos. She says it makes her feel insecure. 

Young lady: Maybe you shouldn’t watch them then.

Man: There’s nothing wrong with watching sex. I enjoy it. Are you dating anybody right now?

Young lady: Yeah, kind of. Nothing serious.

Man: Just make sure you don’t give him a hard time if he likes looking at other women. If you get upset with him, just argue it out. As a matter of fact I’d recommend you find somebody who likes to argue. I love to argue. 

Young lady: Why?

Man: I don’t know I just enjoy it. I argue with my wife all the time. I mean, if she knew I was sitting here having breakfast with you she’d flip out. She’d be yelling and screaming all over the place.

Young lady: Then why did you invite me to have breakfast with you?

Man: Just because I like you and I know I’m in control. She doesn’t understand that. She’d just be jealous. When you get her age you’ll probably be just like her.

Young lady: Why?

Man: Because older women just get insecure about their relationships and their bodies and everything. That’s why, when men leave their wives, they always go for a younger woman because they’re not hung up on all that stuff. You never see a man leave a younger woman for an older woman. You see what I’m saying?

Young lady: I’m not sure. Well, we’d better get going now. I have to go to work. 

I wanted to jump up from the table and smash a trey over his head and tell the young lady to run for her life. No wonder his wife is insecure and jealous. He wants her to just understand that he has a roaming eye for younger women and has breakfast with them behind her back. When he’s at home he wants to watch porn on video. Why would she be insecure? 

I thought about how sad it is that this seems to be the acceptable attitude toward marriage. “I’m married, but I still want to act like I’m single. Why doesn’t she understand?”  

Then I ran across these scriptures in 1 Corinthians 6:16-17, “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.” 

Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’” 

Attitudes are so casual in regards to the sanctity of marriage. A married man believes it’s okay to watch sex on videos as long as he’s not committing adultery. However, Jesus said, “”You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” 

Jesus also said in Matthew 19:10, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone.” 

Aptitude and grace were definitely missing from this conversation.     

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