Is It Hot In Here to You?

            Menopause is a trying time for a woman and everyone else around her. It’s a time when mood changes, hot flashes, irritability and emotions all clash together at once and create, “The Change of Life Monster.” 

I remember going shopping in a mall with my sister, Robbie and our mom one Saturday. It was cold outside and I had worn a sweater with a t-shirt underneath. While we were looking around I started to feel my internal oven come on and the heat rising from my feet and slowly creeping up over my entire body. In the meantime, Robbie found a pair of pants she liked and called me over to take a look at them. She held them up for me to see and I told her they looked fine as I tugged at my sweater. She stood in front of a mirror, trying to decide if she wanted to go into a fitting room and try on the pants. She turned from side to side admiring them from every angle. Mom was nearby giving her opinion as well. As I waited, sweat began to roll down the back of my neck and the temperature from my internal oven had now reached an all time high. 

While Robbie and Mom discussed whether or not she should try on the pants I lost complete control right there in the store. “JUST TRY ON THE PANTS FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE,” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING AT THEM IN THE MIRROR? TRY ON THE STUPID PANTS ALREADY! THAT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU’RE GOING TO KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BUY THEM! DO SOMETHING! AT LEAST WALK TOWARD THE FITTING ROOM. HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO STAND HERE IN THIS HOT, UNCOMFORTABLE STORE AND STARE AT THESE UGLY PANTS? HUH? HOW LONG? IS IT HOT IN HERE TO YOU? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS LIKE SHE’S GOING TO EXPLODE IN ABOUT IN A MILLION PIECES? LOOK, EITHER BUY THE DUMB PANTS OR MOVE ON! WE CAN’T STAND HERE ALL DAY!”

 Once I finally came to my senses, I realized Mom and Robbie were clinging to each other, holding on for dear life. They were staring at me like I had turned into the “Incredible Hulk” right before their eyes. 

“I’m not getting these pants,” said Robbie, quickly hanging them back on the rack. 

“OH YES YOU ARE, BABY!” I screamed again. “DON’T TELL ME WE SPENT ALL THIS TIME ADMIRING THESE DUMB PANTS AND NOW YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY THEM ON!” 

I took the pants off the rack and threw them back at Robbie. Mom took a precautionary step backwards. Then I got about two inches from Robbie’s face and yelled. “TAKE THE PANTS AND GO TO THE FITTING ROOM AND TRY THEM ON! NOW! 

Robbie scurried off to the fitting room looking like the cowardly lion when the Wizard of Oz screamed at him to GO! Mom headed off behind her, not wanting to be left alone with me. 

 “AAAH!” I screamed, tugging at the neck of my sweater. “WHY IS IT SO HOT IN HERE?”

I ran to the nearest store exit, pulling off my sweater as I went. I stepped outside into the freezing weather wearing only a short-sleeve t-shirt and breathed a sigh of relief. As I stood there, holding my sweater in my hand, people were rushing to get in out of the cold. They all looked at me as if I was crazy; everyone, that is except one woman. As she was going inside she caught my eye and smiled as if to say, I feel your agony, honey.

When I finally cooled down and went back inside, Robbie and Mom were standing there waiting for me. Robbie was holding a bag with the pants, which she had quickly purchased while I was outside. They were both staring at me, trying to figure out whether or not it was safe to ride home with me. I felt badly about how I had acted earlier, so I apologized to them and asked if they wanted to go and get a cup of coffee. 

“NO!” They both shouted at the same time. I guess they didn’t want to take a chance on me drinking a hot beverage for fear the monster would reappear. 

It was very quiet in the car as we drove back home. A song came on the radio and tears started to form in my eyes. The next thing I knew I was blubbering. 

“Are you okay?” asked Robbie. 

“I’m all right,” I sobbed. “It’s just such a really sad song.” 

Robbie looked at me. “It’s ‘Monday, Monday’ by the ‘Mamas and the Papas’. You’ve heard it a thousand times. It’s not that sad.” 

I snapped my head to look at her, “WELL IT’S SAD TO ME, OKAY?” Nothing else was said after that. Robbie just left me to my blubbering for the rest of the drive home. 

After some coaxing from my family I decided o see my family doctor and discovered I wasn’t going crazy after all, but I was going through a change. The doctor asked me a lot of questions and it seemed like she had been following me around for the last six months, observing all of my symptoms. 

“Do you cry easily?” the doctor asked. 

“Yes,” I answered. 

“Do you suddenly get very hot for no apparent reason?” she asked. 

“Yes, I do,” I answered again. 

And so it went with me answering yes to every question. My body was changing and I wasn’t aware of what was going on inside of me. It was actually comforting to find out I wasn’t losing my mind. 

After much discussion the doctor and I agreed on a prescription to help ease the symptoms. My family calls them my “Happy Pills.” Although I still suffer with some symptoms, the hot flashes are not as severe and I’m sleeping a little better. I’ve managed to calm the “Change of Life Monster” to a more manageable “Sometimes Irritable and Occasionally Emotional with just a Splash of Hot Flashes Kind of Woman.” 

All through our lives we experience change. Our emotions are up and down. Some days we feel good and, on others, we feel bad. We experience happiness and, unfortunately, great sadness at various seasons of our lifetime. That is why it is so important to not be led by how we feel at any given moment or to make decisions based on our emotions. 

Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” It is better to be led by Christ than by our constantly shifting and changing feelings. 

Women especially need to heed this warning because we are more emotional than men and feelings play a big role in our lives. Remember who you are in Christ instead of giving into your emotions by making life-altering decisions without trusting God to give direction and guidance. Trust the God who “does not change like shifting shadows,” as it says in James 1:17. Make your emotions the caboose, not the engine. 

Be Careful What You Ask For

I’ve always been somewhat of a computer nerd. I like keeping up with the latest and the greatest in automation. If it makes life easier, I like to use it. But my sister, Robbie, is not so keen. She uses a computer all day long and has an updated smart phone. However, if anything goes wrong with any of her devices she comes running to me for help. She doesn’t want details about what went wrong. She just wants me to fix it and let her get on with whatever she was doing. 

 

One day I decided we needed to update the internet and router in our home because we weren’t getting the speed we needed. So I called our internet provider and explained what I needed. The company informed me that I needed to purchase a new router and a more up to date modem box. As we talked, the person helping me asked if the internet account was in my name. As it happened, it was set up in Robbie’s name years ago. Usually I just say I’m Robbie to avoid any chance of putting Robbie on the phone with any sort of technical person. She just glazes over and, in the end, when you ask her questions about the conversation she just gives you a blank look. However, for some reason during this call I had already said my name. The person I was speaking with insisted on talking to the person whose name was on the account. 

 

I put the person on hold and told Robbie she had to speak to them herself. I explained that we needed an updated router and modem box. She only needed to let the person on the phone know I had her permission to update the equipment.

 

As I handed the phone to Robbie she had this unusual look of confidence. She even winked at me as if to say, “don’t worry, I’ve got this.” This worried me. Now don’t get me wrong. Robbie has plenty of knowledge and confidence in various areas. It’s just that computers is not one of them.

 

As Robbie began to talk I found myself holding my breath. 

 

“Hello, this is Robin Boyette,” Robbie began. “I’m calling because we need a box of Imodium. Then she turned and winked at me with a confident smile. My heart sank. 

 

“Not Imodium!” I shouted. “We need a new modem box!” 

 

Robbie’s face turned a very bright shade of red. 

 

“Um, could you just put your sister back on the phone, please?” the woman on the phone asked.

 

Robbie reluctantly handed the phone back to me. “She wants to talk to you,” she said.

 

I took the phone and asked if she could please let me put her on hold for just a moment. Then I just lost it. I fell on the floor laughing so hard I didn’t think I would ever recover. “Imodium!” I kept repeating in between bouts of hysterical, uncontrollable laughter. I was incapable of talking on the phone, yet I finally found a way to control myself to finish the conversation. The woman on the other end kept it together and was very professional and polite, although I could sense a big smile on her face as she spoke. 

 

When I finally got off the phone I thought how fortunate it is that we don’t always get what we ask for in life. I could just imagine a giant box of Imodium arriving at our front door or the cable company wondering why these two old ladies were calling them for a box of Imodium?

 

A lot of times we pray and ask God for things we believe we absolutely need or want, but later we are so happy he didn’t deliver exactly what we asked for or when we thought we needed it.

 

God knows us better than we know ourselves. Thank goodness he looks at our hearts and he sees our future. So he knows better than anyone what we need and what we don’t need. 

 

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ, Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 (NIV)

 

God has promised to meet all of our needs. So when we pray and repeatedly ask God for something that just doesn’t seem to come, we can take heart in knowing he would provide it if we really needed it. Perhaps it’s not the right time or you only think you need something. God sees the bigger picture and is able to supply all our needs. We just have to trust him to know what is best.  Take comfort in that knowledge. Otherwise, you could end up with a whole case of Imodium. 

(Excerpt from "Life is a Buffet But What is the Recipe? by Polly D. Boyette. All rights reserved. Copyright 2020 by Polly Boyette.)